sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
