dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
