I showed him my bush... on skype.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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