Your face is a jimmy john
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Let's paint friendship bongs
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
