well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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