i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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