Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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