Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
