She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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