just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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