Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
