You're a womanizer and a bitch.
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize
