U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
