found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
