Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
