He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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