Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
These tits shall not be calmed
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
