not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
