She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize