I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
