Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
