Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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