It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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