I need help removing her.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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