A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
