theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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