Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
