do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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