If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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