my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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