never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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