If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize