idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
there was a trapeze. enough said
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
