Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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