porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
