So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
