There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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