I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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