No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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