You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
