i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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