gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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