do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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