grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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