i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
