I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
