His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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