Did you just see the Batmobile???
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
