It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
