I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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