ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
