hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
