my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
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