at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
