i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I party with great urgency now.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
