Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
