Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
