You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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