Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
